The one person in my life that I can credit the most for my education in women’s wealth is my mother. I learned a lot from watching her, as most kids do with their parents. She encouraged me to take responsibility for my money at a young age – encouraging me to make my own money. She also was very transparent about her struggles with wealth as a woman, offering me lots of examples of what not to do.

She and my father divorced when I was five. On her own with two small children, she scrambled to get both her GED and then her associate’s degree and nursing license. I remember the long hours of her sitting at the dining room table, studying…begging the two of us to please play in another room and keep quiet so she could concentrate. She had a strong work ethic, and it landed with me.

Pension, then none.

She landed a nursing job at the hospital in town. She had the first stable paycheck she had ever had in her life, along with benefits that included a pension (guaranteed income payments in retirement). She was about 15 years into her career when her employer, like many companies around the US, elected to terminate their pension and to pay out the present value to its employees. Now in her 50’s, she received a check of only $30,000 intended to cover all of her future retirement. Panic set-in. She had always relied on others – past husbands and more recently her employer – to take care of her future. Now she had this teeny little nest egg in her hands which she was responsible to grow, and not much time to do it in.

From this point forward, she was wrecked with anxiety about her retirement savings. Would she have enough? What was the market doing? She would call in each morning to check the balance of her account – her emotions and moods hinging on what the automated voice was to report back to her on the other line. She ceased nearly all discretionary spending in a desperate attempt to squirrel away any leftovers and to plug away at the gaping hole which was her retirement savings.

I was just entering the workforce as this began with her, and I took careful notes. I vowed to never rely on someone else for my financial security – no man or employer. Of course, I came into working at a different time when 401(k) plans had already largely replaced pensions, so I couldn’t be lulled in the false security of a pension as she had. Accordingly, I began plugging away at my 401(k) about 25 years earlier than she did.

She did eventually squirrel away what was needed to retire, but not without a lot of hard-driving and anxiety to get her there. She was a slave to her job for most of her career.

But not me. There was no way that I would allow myself to follow this path of my mother’s. I was fortunate to witness this at a young age to somehow be alert enough to take heed.

Good job mom, for both yourself, …and for me. Thanks for the education in women’s wealth.

Eliminate the women’s wealth gap in your family. Sign up at buckthebudget.com.