What do monogamy and money have in common?
There is ample discussion out there about opposing forces impacting various aspects of our lives and how values drive our tendencies to favor one force over another. A great example of this can be found in a TED talk I’ve seen discussing the opposing forces in intimate relationships: adventure vs. security. Our desire for adventure drives us to not want to settle down and to keep trying new experiences or partners. Oppositely, our desire for a sense of security and eliminated uncertainty drives us to monogamy (or maybe celibacy?). These opposing forces exist for everyone and must be compromised or negotiated in deciding whether to commit to someone. This talk stands out to me because it makes so much sense! It explains why people struggle so much with whether to commit or how to stay committed.
Wait, aren’t we here to talk about money?
Hold onto your hats folks…the same two forces apply to money! I might rename the first force to immediacy instead of adventure, although the spirit is still the same. Let me illustrate these opposing money forces:
Immediacy……………………………………………………………………………………Security
In this prior post (What’s Your Financial Freedom), we spoke of another money spectrum of now vs. later. The opposing forces of immediacy and security are quite similar except that this new spectrum involves current values that we have now. If you value the freedom to spontaneously spend money to satisfy wants right now, you value immediacy. However, if you value the safe feeling of knowing that you are building wealth and this allows you to sleep well at night, then you value security.
Retailers market to us to appeal to our values of immediacy in the hopes that we’ll get off the couch and drive to Wendy’s for their super, uber, sloppy, delicious new burger. Or speed over to the car dealership to trade in our old jalopy for a slick new set of wheels.
Financial services firms and banks appeal to our value for security with scare tactics of not having enough saved to someday retire – designed to make you invest in their products.
Immediacy or security: which should we value more?
As it relates to the intimacy discussion, the answer provided by the speaker is to strike a balance in your life and relationships. She encourages a healthy balance of the two forces (no, she is not promoting extramarital affairs).
I now encourage the same thing here with respect to money: balance your values for both immediacy and security. If you think this isn’t possible, then you’ve likely been operating from the wrong place(s). For instance, budgets promote contained spending (so much for immediacy) in exchange for money left afterward to save and create security. The Financial Independence Retire Early (“FIRE”) movement promotes extreme frugality both now in order to save more and also later so you can stretch your savings further by living on less. This is a tactic which I feel lacks in BOTH immediacy and also security – what security is there in needing to live on very little in order to pull off retirement? Your security will eventually be shaken if or when your costs do go up.
Q: How do we practically address these opposing values of immediacy and security with our finances?
A: Save first, then spend the rest. Gain security while also exercising immediacy.
We’ll show you how and be your guide through this process so you can take control over your money and live the life you want.
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